Valentine's Gift Guide: Cute Stuff to Buy Yourself

Valentine's Day is one of those things you either look forward to with dreamy eyes or mutter viciously under your breath about, and in this age of cynics, sarcasm and shady tweets it appears that most people tend to go for the latter. In the spirit of independence, loving yourself and all that good stuff I've put together a Valentine's gift guide with a difference - a whole lot of fabulous stuff that it's more than acceptable to treat yourself to, just in case those flowers and chocolates don't turn up. Check it:

Pink photo frame - Print out your best selfie on some glossy paper and give it pride of place on your dressing table as a daily reminder of how fierce you are. Or just frame a cute pic of you and your pals like a normal person. Whatever you want.
£6.99 from H&M Home

Lips Clutch - Pucker up hun. Bags are better than boys anyway.
£14 from Boohoo

Rose gold basket - For storing magazines/makeup/scrunched-up attempts at romantic poetry in a Tumblr-worthy way.
£10 from H&M Home (similar)

Calvin Klein set - The kind of underwear that says "oh these old things?" and "I am a model in my spare time" all at once. Perfect if you get last-minute lucky.
£30 + £20 from Urban Outfitters

Satin kimono - Only to be purchased if you have a 'boudoir' rather than a bedroom. (Hint: to turn your bedroom into a boudoir, get a box of matches and a few tealights from the Londis on the corner, spray some perfume on your pillows and scatter some petals from that wilting bouquet of flowers in the dining room. Voila! Fit for Marilyn.)
£19.99 from H&M

OPI nail set - So no one can say you're not festive. You may be spending the night in alone with Idris Elba and his perfect stubble, but you have pink nails and you made yourself a cocktail that has glitter in it. Val Day fun or what?
£29.99 from Very

Patent heeled boots - A three-course meal at an over-priced restaurant or these boots delivered to your door by a handsome DPD driver? Thought so.
£89 from Topshop

Scented candle - It's cute and marble-y, plus you'll already have the matches from your boudoir-creation.
£6.99 from H&M

The Fashion Book - Because FASHUN is LIFE darling. But seriously, this is basically the bible and let's be honest - no guy is gonna get you a present this perfect.
£7.95 from Waterstones

Teacup candle - No tea, no shade, and absolutely no need for a candle in the shape of a cup and saucer - but it's really fab. And to all those that don't get my RuPaul's Drag Race references please login to Netflix and educate yourself.
£3 from Very

Rose gold brush set - Is there any truer love than the one that is felt for a brand new makeup brush? It's that time of the year after all.
£65 from Zoeva

Pom pom keyring - If you're currently crowdfunding for your next Fendi (aren't we all?) then just give your existing bag collection a lil' cute-over for now. Ok, so this pom pom isn't Fendi either, but who's really going to know?
£3.99 from New Look

Chanel Chance - Life's just better when you smell like an absolute dream, and if you're as spritz-happy as me your Christmas perfume haul will probably be looking a little lacklustre already.
£49 from Boots

Ribbed high-neck crop - To be rolled all the way over your face in the unfortunate event of stumbling upon PDA, an awkward ex or some bad lighting.
£35.65 from UNIF

Matte Liquid Lipstick - Two words: SLAY. THEM.
£21.00 from MAC (in Dance With Me)

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The 10 Commandments of Social Media

I love Twitter, I adore Instagram, I'm fond of Snapchat and I'm mildly amused by Facebook. I probably spend a horrifying chunk of my life scrolling through other people's lives, and even though it brings me much joy and many LMAOs it also has the power to infuriate me beyond all belief. So, here is a definitive list of the cardinal sins of social media - as composed by me on a day when I ran out of chocolate milk and it didn’t stop raining - aka I was pissy af. 

1. Thou shalt not overshare. You know those people that come really close to your face when they talk to you? Those are the people that tweet about their trust issues, bowel movements and ingrown hairs.

2. Thou shalt not share utter crap on Facebook. No, I don’t want to see a man from Tennessee giving birth to triplets and yes, your cat looks cute, just like it did in the 67 other pictures you uploaded of it this week.

3. Thou shalt not caption thy photos with lyrics from R’n’B slow jams. Selfies (probably) won’t bring him/her back so just give it up. This is not 2006.

4. Thou shalt not post pictures of half-eaten meals. Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to see what you had for lunch - just have a shred of respect for the basic laws of the universe and show us before you've inhaled half of it.

5. Thou shalt not indirect.
 This is the number one rule of life and everyone knows it. Beware the *tears of laughter* emoji - favourite of frenemies and bitter exes.

6. Thou shalt not use the hashtag in vain. Desp hashtaggers, we see you, even if you think you've tricked us with a classic 'tag and delete'. What was a #girlswithink doing under a picture of your new trainers, pray tell?

7. Thou shalt not take a half-nude and pretend it was to show off your new necklace/belt/bedsheets.
 Being honest with yourself is the first step towards thirst-quenching.

8. Thou shalt not send blurry, unidentifiable snapchats. In fact, if you have an Android or a phone that was made 5+ years ago just please spare us – I’ve never seen emojis like that before and they make me very uncomfortable, like when I see someone wearing a "Guchi" t-shirt.

9. Thou shalt not assume hashtagging #unpopularopinion makes your highly offensive comment okay.
I’m cool with a healthy debate, as long as you're cool with the ENTIRE WORLD knowing you think Donald Trump "kind of has a point."

10. Thou 
shalt not post seven statuses about how you're "going off social media for a while." Nope, no one is going to beg you to stay. Not even the seventh time. Off with you.

Disclaimer: I'm probably a hypocrite.

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